My Top Three Commencement Addresses

Northwestern University finally held their commencement ceremony on Friday, so I think every possible member of the Class of 2010 has now officially graduated. Before the pomp and circumstance are too distant from everyone's minds, I wanted to share the three best commencement addresses I've ever heard. And, no, they do not include the addresses at my two NU commencement ceremonies (John McCain in 2005 and Barack Obama in 2006). It's amazing how much more heartfelt and eloquent speakers can be when they're not running for President of the United States...

If you don't have time to read/listen to these right now, be sure to bookmark them for further study. They are exceptionally well-written and contain tons of insights to chew on.


#3 Wynton Marsalis, Northwestern University, 2009

Our tour of commencement excellence (commenxcellence?) begins in Evanston, where the announcement of jazz prodigy Marsalis as speaker was greeted far too frequently by "Who's that?" from students. Due to a pending monsoon on the day of the ceremony, Marsalis had to shorten his speech, reading only the first and last pages. Even so, I was blown away by the force of his ideas, the eloquence of his prose and the awesomeness of the New Orleans ditty he played to close out his address.

EXCERPT: "See, we are always in the process of becoming ourselves. So, enjoyment – whatever it means to you – is something to pursue. Just like you lay out plans to be rich or in shape, plan to be happy. When something makes you happy – chase it. And if you’re not good at it, work on becoming good at it. And if you can’t be good at it, be happy being bad. The positive frame of reference and the power of affirmation create good health. Affirm people around you, and you will be affirmed."

VIDEO: Watch Marsalis's abbreviated speech and see him wail on his trumpet.

AUDIO: Fortunately, Marsalis agreed to record a full version of his speech, which I urge you to download and put on your iPod. I know I did.

FULL TEXT: Read it all here.


#2 David Brooks, Wake Forest University, 2007

I forget exactly how I came across this speech, but I liked the fact that so much wisdom was delivered with so much humor. I also really liked his definition of journalist.


EXCERPT: "Now, commencement is a ceremony when the university gets a rich and successful person to tell you that being rich and successful is not that important. Well I've got bad news for you. I'm not that rich and I'm not that successful. But I have been around successful people. You see, I'm a journalist. If you go to a stadium and you see the crowd doing the wave, there are some people who just sit there watching. Those people are journalists. We lead boring lives while hanging around people who lead interesting lives."

AUDIO: Click here to download the MP3 of the speech. This one is also on my iPod.

FULL TEXT: Read it all here.


#1 Tony Snow, Catholic University, 2007

This is the most powerful commencement address I've ever read. Delivered just a little more than a year before Snow succumbed to colon cancer at age 53, it's written with the compelling combination of faith and wisdom that so often seems to manifest itself in people who are staring down the barrel of a gun and wrestling with their own mortality. There's no multimedia version of this one, but it's well worth reading.

EXCERPT: "And once you realize that there is something greater than you out there, then you have to decide, "Do I acknowledge it and do I act upon it?" You have to at some point surrender yourself. And there is nothing worthwhile in your life that will not at some point require an act of submission."

FULL TEXT: Read it all here.

So those are my favorites. The best part about commencement addresses is the fact that there is a new batch of wisdom being unleashed on graduates every year. What other fantastic and inspiring commencement addresses are out there?

Who Needs the Olympics? Not Us!

Everybody loves the Summer Olympics. I understand that. But this year there seems to be even less love than usual for the Winter Olympics and you have to wonder why.

I remember a time not so long ago when the Winter Olympics were as culturally cool as their summer counterpart. And it wasn't just because Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding made for sensational tabloid headlines--people were legitimately interested in Kristi Yamaguchi and Michelle Kwan. Figure skating was the winter version of gymnastics and Team USA was golden. Other events were big, too. Remember Bonnie Blair? Of course you do. Can you name anyone on the 2010 Team USA Speed Skating Team? Me neither.

So why are the Winter Games so scorned these days? Aside from the fact that our culture now encourages the immediate cynical scorning of anything as quickly and often as possible (usually in 140 characters or less), I think the real reason behind our general Olympic malaise is the fact that we have become desensitized to competition.

The Olympic Games used to be the main venue for watching your talented fellow human beings perform feats of strength, precision, grace and athleticism. They'd head into the arena/rink/slope/course/etc., perform their skill for the judges and--panting from the exertion--wait for the scores to be handed down. The process was repeated for each participant and the drama built to a blistering crescendo until the Olympic medals were finally distributed. People tuned in to see the triumph of the human spirit and the culmination of years of hard work and training.

Now you can turn the TV on any night of the week and see any number of contests that follow the model outlined above: American Idol, The Amazing Race, Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Next Top Model, Survivor, The Biggest Loser, The Apprentice, Wipeout, American Gladiators, and on and on...

In these cases, the coveted Olympic Gold comes in the form of a record deal, a large cash prize, an impressive amount of weight loss or simply 15 minutes of fleeting pop culture fame. The scale is decidedly smaller than the international stage of the Olympic Games, but it still satisfies our need to watch someone achieve something extraordinary and be recognized as such on a continuum against others in their field.

In fact, we like this better than the Olympics. Anybody with vocal chords can try out for American Idol. The formal training is slim to none, so the gold medal seems much more attainable. Singing? Of course I can do that! Training on ski slopes for years and years? Don't be ridiculous. What do you think I am? An Olympian?

After watching regular people get rewarded for more down-to-Earth feats every week, the Olympics just don't hold the same high place in the American consciousness anymore.

I think it all comes down to one question: How can the Olympic Committee expect anyone to care about the Luge now that we've seen Donny Osmond do the Lindy Hop?

Pluto Day in Illinois: It's a Planet Again!

Illinois politicians seem to constantly be reinventing themselves this year and now they've gone from goofy to Pluto. The Illinois General Assembly recently issued the following resolution that:

"as Pluto passes overhead through Illinois’ night skies, that it be reestablished with full planetary status, and that March 13, 2009 be declared “Pluto Day” in the State of Illinois in honor of the date its discovery was announced in 1930."

(via Discovery Magazine)

I think this is really going to turn things around for the little guy. We can only hope that the other 49 state assemblies will be brave enough to follow in Illinois' heroic footsteps and pass a similar resolution. Who cares about the economy? We've got a planet to reinstate!

The best part of all this is the fact that--in Illinois, at least--Pluto Day and Pi Day will give us the first recorded instance of back-to-back nerd holidays. How will you celebrate?

Yesterday's Tomorrow Today!

Thanks to my friend Julie's Tumblog, I was reminded of a wonderful site that is always good for a laugh: Modern Mechanix.

It's unbelievable that these articles and ads are not Photoshopped in any way, but actually ran in the 1930s and 1940s. It looks like the service described above was a veritable Match.com of yester-year. "No man is any good without a woman?" I'm not sure who this add is more insulting toward--the "anxious" and desperate women or the single men who aren't "any good."

Almost every post on this blog is a winner. Even the less-funny entries provide an insightful look into how people thought science and technology would progress. This leads to the age-old debate: Were people dumber back then? Or just more willing to get carried away by their curiosity? I tend to think it's the latter. Everyone is so sardonic and jaded today (myself included) that I don't think we're even willing to entertain the ideas that seemed plausible to the folks who wrote these articles. After all, some of these things were way ahead of their time! Cordless phone, anyone?

A few others:
If You Want the Ladies to Like You, Clip This Coupon

For Fun-Loving Executives

License Tag in Miniature Identifies Auto Keys

If you find other good ones, share 'em in the comments!

My 100th Post!

It took me about a year and a half to get here, but today is an historic day. Write Things Worth Reading, a self-publishing experiment that began on a whim when I was bored in the summer of 2007, has finally reached triple digits.

Thanks to anyone who actually reads this and everyone who has commented on my posts. The main reason I do this is because I like to write, and this happens to be the perfect outlet for that. It's a lot more fun when people are reading and responding though, and given the dearth of blogs on the Internets, I appreciate the fact that anyone actually cares what I'm writing about.

And sorry the URL is so long and clunky. I should have thought that out a little more at the beginning. Fortunately, my friend Bret likes to make fun of me and has provided an alternative. You can now access this site from a much shorter URL--www.fingeratrophy.com. Very funny, Bret. I hope it was worth the cost of a domain name.

Well, I promised myself I wouldn't cry, so I think I'll just end this post right here.

"Man, it's been quite a ride." (Watch the video below to give this quote some context.)

Christmas Break: NU Names Morton O. Schapiro as New President

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Christmas blog posts to bring you an important news flash!

This morning, Northwestern University announced that its next president will be Morton O. Schapiro, current president of Williams College. Check out the video interview I produced below and visit the nifty new president Web site for more coverage.

New Orleans Revisited

With the coverage of Hurricane Gustav and the three-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina last week, I've had New Orleans on my mind a lot lately. I also recently returned from my second volunteer trip to the Big Easy, so I thought I would share a bit of my experience of the city in this post.

My first visit to New Orleans was in March 2006. At that point the city was still reeling from Katrina with a seemingly insurmountable amount of recovery work to be done. I spent a week volunteering with Catholic Charities doing what was probably the most difficult work I will ever do in my life. Without experiencing it firsthand, it's nearly impossible to describe the physical and emotional process of systematically gutting someone's home. Dressed in a Tyvek suit, gloves, goggles, a hard hat and a respirator, we endured the Gulf Coast humidity to literally turn someone's home inside out--stripping out the water-bloated possessions, the moldy carpet and the soaking wet drywall to leave the skeletal remains of wood framing and floors.


Previously important possessions were removed and discarded in a giant pile on the street in front of the house. Carpet, furniture, and appliances followed suit. Trust me when I tell you that removing a refrigerator brimming with six-month-old floodwater is an unenviable task, and if the fridge falls open, you best be wearing that respirator.


Fast forward to August 2008.

Catholic Charities gutted more than 1,900 homes and apartments and the rebuilding phase has begun. While it was still unbearably humid in NOLA, the work was decidedly more refreshing. Instead of using crowbars to bust up drywall, we were using paintbrushes to put new coats of paint on newly completed walls and ceilings. We were sawing plywood and using nail guns to fasten down sub-flooring.

The word that kept coming to mind was "rejuvenation." The work of home creation is decidedly more fulfilling than home destruction, and the city of New Orleans itself reflected this rejuvenation effort in so many ways as well. The city seemed alive again (at least compared to 2006) with a bustling French Quarter during the day and a packed Bourbon Street every night.

Best of all, the residents seemed to be back in a big way. Local businesses that I had remembered seeing boarded up on my first trip were now open and residents seemed to have returned to their neighborhoods. Maybe that's why the idea of evacuating the entire city seemed so outlandish to me. How could a city that is so alive with music and people and culture turn into a complete ghost town? Well, Mother Nature provided strong motivation and the city cleared out.

This is what Bourbon Street looked like on August 9.


And this is what it looked like last week.


By the time it reached NOLA, Hurricane Gustav was thankfully quite toothless, but the evacuation was still warranted. I fear that every major tropical storm from now on will compel city officials to order such a mandatory migration and it makes good sense. No one wants another Katrina. But how many times will people be willing to leave and come back to their water-logged and partially destroyed home? That's the pressing issue now.

When I walk around New Orleans, I am overwhelmed by the city's vast history, deep culture and undeniable pride. Citizens of NOLA seem to know that they are living somewhere special and they are anxious to share that with visitors--usually in the form of good music, delicious po'boys and fresh beignets. It would be a true shame if nature finds a way to bury that way of life at the bottom of the ocean, but I have to wonder how long N'Awlins has left.

The Concert of a Lifetime

This photo is one of the most glorious things I have ever seen: Two of the greatest American songwriters of all time performing together live on stage. Anyone who wasn't at Billy's musical farewell to Shea Stadium yesterday really missed something incredible.

If I could assemble a fantasy lineup for a concert, Billy Joel and Paul McCartney would definitely be the headliners. (I might add Frank Sinatra in his 1950s prime, but I don't want to get greedy.) Just imagine the set list! Uptown Girl followed by Jet followed by We Didn't Start the Fire followed by Hey Jude followed by Piano Man? I'm getting chills just thinking about it.

The fact that these venerable troubadours performed together at all gives me hope that maybe the Billy and Paul Concert Tour isn't far behind. I think these guys could really rock Wrigley.

Now it's your turn. Who would perform in the Concert of Your Lifetime?

Where were you 10 years ago?

On this day 10 years ago, Cubs fans had a reason to cheer when young pitching phenom Kerry Wood did the seemingly impossible. By mystifying the high-powered Houston Astros for 20 strikeouts, he tied the Major League single-game strikeout record, earning a special place in the hearts of all Cubs fans as well as an annual page in Cubs trivia desk calendars.

This happened a decade ago? It sure doesn't feel like it, as I vividly remember that rainy day in May. It was such a quick game that I actually didn't see a single strike, but I remember driving home from high school and listening to the postgame show in disbelief. The Cubs continued to stun their fans that season when they went on to win the Wild Card and reached the playoffs for the first time in nine years.

This kind of stuff simply didn't happen to the Cubs back then. My favorite line in today's Tribune story about Wood's anniversary is the attendance figure from that fateful game. 15,758? That's less than half of a typical Wrigley crowd these days, and it's a telling reality that more "recent" Cubs fans probably can't wrap their minds around.

I remember attending games throughout the 1990s when the upper deck was an empty sea of green seats and unclaimed foul balls. Ten years later I find myself sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in those very seats because they are the only tickets I can afford in the only section that didn't immediately sell out.

Yes, the fortunes and popularity of the Cubs have changed significantly, but I take a certain pride in the fact that I was tuned into the team 10 years ago when it wasn't nearly so trendy. It's days like today that lifelong Cubs fans can bask in the longevity of their love affair with the Lovable Losers.

Ten years later, an older, wiser and surgically repaired Kerry Wood took the mound in the ninth inning for the Cubs tonight in his new role as a closer. Against all odds and every arm injury imaginable, Wood has largely silenced the critics and returned as a positive force in the Cubs lineup.

Perhaps Wood's up-and-down-and-up career can serve as a metaphor for the Cubs as a whole. Who doesn't love happy endings?

Lunar and Grammar Rarities

Now here's something you don't see every day. Two somethings, in fact.

1. A total lunar eclipse
Be sure to look at the moon on Wednesday evening around 9:26 CST, as it will appear to be orange or deep red in a total lunar eclipse. The moon will be under the Earth's shadow for almost an hour, which apparently won't happen again until December 2010.

2. A properly used semicolon
New York City transit riders experienced the rare joy of a properly punctuated advertisement featuring that most fastidious of punctuation marks--the semicolon. Rarely attempted because it is so difficult to employ, I must commend Neil Neches for his daring. Anyone who says a semicolon is pretentious probably doesn't know how to use one.

Also, you've got to love the fact that the Times' story on this punctuated perfection featured a small (but ironic) typo of its own, when the reporter forgot a comma in the title of the fantastic book Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.

Now that I think about it, the comma can sometimes be trickier to employ than the semicolon. Just don't use a comma in place of a semicolon; nobody likes a comma splice.

Bully Pulpit

It's not every day that you get to watch a long-dead historical figure live on stage, animatedly delivering the most famous stories about his life, but that's the experience I had tonight at the Teddy Roosevelt Show.

Politico-turned-performer Joe Wiegand is currently touring the country to honor Roosevelt's 150th birthday. He spent nearly two hours telling stories in character as TR and the effect was mesmerizing. You can watch the sample video to get the idea, but he looked a lot more like Roosevelt in person than he does in this video. As a history minor in another life, I found Wiegand's show to be a phenomenal way to present historical material in an engaging and memorable fashion. Best of all, I learned quite a few facts about TR tonight that I'm not likely to forget any time soon:

1. He was the first president to ride in a submarine.
2. He was the first president to ride in an airplane.

3. He oversaw major renovations of the White House and the creation of the West Wing.

4. He was elected by president by the largest margin of popular votes and the largest margin of electoral votes in history.

5. In an early 20th century version of the type of headline-making tabloid dirt that presidents and candidates have to deal with today, Roosevelt often had to answer for the actions of his 20-year-old daughter Alice, who was frequently cavorted with a variety of men, drank cocktails in public and was rumored to be carrying a snake in her purse.

6. Teddy was once scheduled to deliver a speech in Chicago when a would-be assassin shot him in the chest at close range. Roosevelt was saved because the bullet ripped through the 60-page speech and metal glasses case in his front breast pocket. Even though the bullet was lodged dangerously close to his heart, he decided that the speech must go on (he was in the midst of a hotly contested '08-style race for the presidential nomination) and he spoke passionately for 80 minutes before going to the hospital for treatment. I'm trying to picture any of today's candidates doing that and for some reason I just can't.

The show left me with a new admiration for Roosevelt, the way he lived his life and the way he conducted himself as a public servant. It's difficult for me to relate to historical figures whose existence is validated only by photos in textbooks and likenesses on currency. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that they were at one time imperfect humans with actual problems, conflicts and foibles. The show brought Teddy back down to Earth for me, fleshing him out literally and figuratively.

That said, I believe Roosevelt would stand a pretty good chance in the 2008 elections and I wish he were still around to claim my vote. Still not convinced? Here are Mental Floss' top 10 reasons why TR was the coolest president ever. Sorry, Huckabee, I think Chuck Norris would have voted for Teddy, too...

A Lent Well Spent

Although it feels awfully early this year, the cross-shaped ashes on my forehead can mean only one thing--it's Lent, baby!

For the uninitiated (er, unbaptized?), Lent is a 40-day period of fasting in the Catholic liturgical year, when all good Catholics abstain from eating meat on Fridays and attempt to stick to a personal sacrifice as well. For a slightly more detailed explanation of Lent via fake church signs, click here.

Lent begins with Ash Wednesday, a day when Catholics smear ashes on their forehead to represent human sinfulness. The byproduct of this outward sign of religiosity is the fact that everyone in your workplace and daily life notices that you are, in fact, Catholic. Well, that's assuming that they already know what Ash Wednesday is. When I came into work ashen-faced today, I had the following encounter with a co-worker:

Co-worker: "Matt, are you OK? You've got something running down your forehead."
Me: "Oh, those are ashes." [assuming that would clear it up]
Co-worker: "Huh?! Ashes?"
Me: "Today is Ash Wednesday."
Co-worker: "Oh, sorry!"
Me: "No, it's OK."
Co-worker: "It looks like you ran into a tree! It's kind of scary! You look like you're a member of a gang or something!"

Tee hee.

This may sound strange, but Lent is actually one of my favorite things about being Catholic. While I am a voracious omnivore and thoroughly miss my meat on Fridays, Lent is a great psychological device for improving your life. You have to make Lent work for you! The next 40 days are an all-inclusive opportunity to kick a bad habit or make a better habit stick.

The old saying is that it takes 28 days to form a new habit, so Lent gives me 12 extra days to be completely sure that my new workout routine is a permanent part of my life. (Just an example...not a promise!) Lent also helpfully arrives when I have long since fallen off the wagon of my New Year's resolutions, but close enough to the beginning of the year that I'm still committed to making some sort of self-improving change.

This year, I have decided to make the same Lenten sacrifice that I have made the past three years: I'm giving up Facebook and Coke. Now I know what you're thinking: "Matt, how can this be a difficult sacrifice if this is your third year in a row?" Good question. The answer? It never gets any easier. I have successfully avoided Facebook for 80 days during the past two years (and I'm not alone), but I always manage to become just as reliant on it as a procrastination tool by the time Lent rolls around again. The invention of Scrabulous has only worsened my addiction.

Somehow I managed to get by without Facebook for more than 20 years and I know this technically shouldn't be a difficult sacrifice. The fact that going Facebook-free for 40 days is such a tremendous stretch for me means that my Facebook habit is bordering on a full-blown Facebook addiction. It's time for Lent to step in and save the day!

Now I just need to figure out a productive way to spend all the free time I'm going to have in the next 40 days. Maybe I'll run into a tree or something.

Once Serious, Now Hilarious

Although I had previously heard of Mystery Science Theater 3000, it wasn't until last week that I actually saw some clips of the show on YouTube and I am now thoroughly addicted. If you're like me and somehow completely missed it, this wickedly clever show ran on the Sci-Fi Channel for a decade with the premise of lampooning awful 1950s science fiction B-movies. The show's silhouetted hosts provide a hilarious running commentary while screening a film, mocking the characters and plot (or lack thereof).

MST3K also gives this treatment to self-righteous "instructional" videos from the same era. My current favorite revolves around the issue of cheating on a math test.

This approach to B-movie mockery reminds me of Svengoolie, whom I grew up watching on various local Chicago TV channels for the past couple decades. His show has a much more homemade feel to it, but he's just as clever. According to Wikipedia, the actor behind Svengoolie--Rich Koz--went to high school in Park Ridge and graduated from Northwestern! I always knew there was a reason I liked him...

On a somewhat related note, I recently discovered that the Internet Archive, in addition to being able to show you how ugly Web sites looked back in 1998, also has a vast collection of public domain multimedia. You can find the unaltered versions of all the PSA-type films that MST3K pokes fun at. It's amazing to me that these films were once created and screened in complete seriousness. Fortunately, the Internet Archive also allows you to download all of these films (Public domain, baby!) and people have subsequently uploaded their artistic mashup creations.

But sometimes no mashup or MST3K commentary is needed to make a video laughable. Such is the case with the following PSA, which was intended to be a commercial promoting awareness about the spread of venereal disease. Apparently someone thought that a bouncy theme song paired with a montage of shiny, happy 1970s people having fun would be a good way to hammer home the consequences of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. I apologize in advance if this song haunts your dreams tonight.

Mapping my way to fun on Black Friday

As usual, the majority of the U.S. fought their Turkey Day Tryptophan hangover today by heading to their local department store for some frenzied Black Friday fun. Actually, it seems like the fun is starting earlier every year and, as I drove home last night, I saw no less than six tents set up outside of the entrance to Best Buy. It was only 7:30 p.m. and it was only 29 degrees outside. I just hope there was a sale on sanity, because there were clearly some potential buyers.

In the interests of full disclosure, my brother and I did try the Black Friday thing last year. Staples was having a terrific sale on (nerd alert!) external hard drives and flash drives and the ad proved too tempting. An office store is one place that I legitimately enjoy shopping, even when they're not throwing discounts at me. Pens! Notebooks! Gadgets! So many office supplies I don't need, but still desire!

With visions of flash drives dancing in our heads, we woke up at some ungodly hour and arrived at the store in a daze around 5 a.m. A line stretching to the middle of the store had somehow already formed, and we discovered that there were actually only 12 discounted external hard drives and flash drives in the entire store. We were apparently in line to get a ticket that wouldn't even guarantee that the item would be ours. Quickly weighing the costs and benefits, we soon fled the store. I was asleep again by 7, but Black Friday had left a bitter taste in my mouth.

That's why today was different. Rebuking the rebates, I went to the Field Museum to see their newest exhibit--Maps: Finding Our Place in the World. You have to pay extra for this one, but it's definitely worth the price of admission. The exhibit traces the use of maps throughout history and displays more maps than you ever thought you would see in one place. I know this might sound like a recipe for a nap (especially if you eat leftovers before you go), but it's absolutely fascinating to see actual maps from the Holy Roman Empire, Leonardo da Vinci, Ptolemy, the Civil War and other countries/eras/events/people that you've previously only read about in History class.

Two cool highlights:

1. An electronic map that displays the history of the Civil War in four minutes. I had previously seen this at the Abe Lincoln museum in Springfield and it's an awesome way to present history. Major battles, a casualty count and the changing Union/Confederate borders are overlaid on a map of the U.S. You can see the Confederacy making a stand when their territory increased at some points during the war, while the casualty counter rises alarmingly.

2. A hand-drawn map of London during the late-19th century cholera outbreak. John Snow hypothesized that the outbreak was due to contaminated water and not airborne, as most people thought. To test this theory, he charted the geographic location of cholera-related deaths on a map of the city's water pump system. He pinpointed one pump that was particularly close to an area with many victims and conducted interviews that showed the victims received water from this pump. It wasn't until decades later that the medical community substantiated his theory with scientific research. Hooray for maps, Sherlock!

It's a sprawling exhibit and I was only there for a little more than an hour, but you can easily spend more time on it. The best part is that I feel like I actually learned something and had a good time doing it. I don't think the tent-dwelling Best Buy customers can say that, even if they did get a good deal on their Wii.

If you're not in Chicago, be sure to check out the exhibit's nifty Web site that I've linked to frequently above. It'll give you a taste of what I'm talking about.