Look at me, I'm white and nerdy

I used to have trouble admitting that I'm a nerd. When I was in high school, I distinctly remember sitting on the bleachers in gym class next to the biggest nerd at my school. At one point, he turned to me and said, "I hate being a nerd, don't you?" I was shocked to my very core at the implications of his question, and I think I managed a feeble "Oh yeah?" in response. These days, I have no problem owning up to that label. I easily fit the conventional definition: I'm fairly intelligent, I like computers, I like to read, I can be socially awkward to the extreme and at some point I had both glasses and braces (complete with headgear!). I could continue, but what's the point?

The point is, despite my intellectual interests and decided lack of coordination and athletic skill, I actually rank very low on the continuum of nerds. Don't believe me? Let's look at two examples.

First, there's this guy. He bought a lifesize fiberglass replica of Han Solo frozen in carbonite. That's pretty nerdy in and of itself. But then he upped the nerd ante by paying to have the Han Solo face removed from the statue and replaced with...three guesses...his face! He explains the process:

"KNB Effects in the valley took an algae mold of my entire head, then cut off Han Solo's, and replaced it with mine. They even added the frozen saliva that rushed out when Han got frozen."

Such attention to detail! I only wish they had included a price tag. I'd also like to know what the final destination for this monument will be. It shouldn't just sit in a garage. Maybe he could convert the chest cavity into a mini-fridge or something.

Our second noteworthy nerd represents a whole genre of nerddom that has risen to prominence thanks to YouTube and other user-contributed sites. I have no doubt that these nerds honed their craft in the pre-Web 2.0 days, but now they have a platform for their art. I'm talking about nerds who spend hours on seemingly pointless artistic endeavors such as a shot-for-shot reenactment of Weird Al's instant classic "White and Nerdy" filmed in stop-motion style...and made completely with Legos. These are the true nerds of the world and, while I admire their skillz, I will never reach that level, nor would I want to.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to my Advanced Dreamweaver class.