Ron Santo: A Wonderful Life

With Cubs legend Ron Santo passing away during the Christmas season, I can't help but notice a parallel between his extraordinary life and my favorite Christmas movie, It's A Wonderful Life.

In the immortal holiday classic, George Bailey is a man with lofty goals whose life is not going according to his plans. He wants nothing more than to leave the small town of his birth, attend college, travel the world and plan big cities. None of that ever happens, but divine intervention eventually leads George Bailey to realize the enormous impact his existence has had on the lives of those around him. He didn’t need the recognition, wealth and fame he so craved to make a lasting impression on the world.

It’s A Wonderful Life might as well be subtitled The Ron Santo Story. Ronnie had dreams of winning a World Series as a player, of being recognized for his outstanding career by being inducted into Cooperstown and of watching his beloved Chicago Cubs win the World Series from his post in the broadcast booth. None of that ever happened, but Santo didn’t need a visit from Clarence the angel to embrace his wonderful life. He knew how blessed he was and that he could use his talents and fame to positively impact the world around him.

And did he ever.

As I alternately laughed uproariously and choked back tears today listening to interviews with Santo’s colleagues intermingled with highlights from his Cubs broadcasting career, I realized anew the impression he made on my life. Usually when a notable athlete/celebrity/dignitary passes away, I feel a sense of detached sadness, but this is the first time that such a passing has filled me with a true sense of grief. I will add my sentiments to the throngs of people who never met Ronnie in person, but feel as if they’ve lost a dear friend.

Many people have already said that Ron Santo was the consummate Chicago Cubs fan and that is certainly true. I spent many a summer day sharing the heart-pounding experience of a Cubs game with Santo and play-by-play man Pat Hughes. While Pat stuck to the script and gave a gripping account of the action on the field, Ronnie could be counted on to deliver the exact rollercoaster of emotional responses that every other Cubs fan was feeling. He was the unapologetic, loud-mouthed, die-hard Cubs fan in the booth and that is exactly what we wanted him to be. Anyone who complained about his lack of skill as a color commentator or listened to the Pat and Ron Show expecting to hear great insight from Ron Santo was completely missing the point and quite simply barking up the wrong tree.

Santo embodied the often bipolar nature of the Cub fan. His blood pressure would rise and fall with the tenor of the baseball season. He would exult in a come-from-behind victory, howl during a horrible inning and mope after a tough loss. But win or lose, he was always back the next day and he was always expecting victory. At a very young age, Santo hitched his wagon to a team that frequently serves lemons to its fans. Thankfully, he quickly developed a winning recipe for lemonade.

Beyond the baseball diamond, Santo saved himself some lemonade, too. He faced adversity with a smile, even when it forced a dramatic altering of his goals and plans. His battle with diabetes has been well-documented and cost him a longer playing career and eventually both of his legs. Anyone who doubts the depth or authenticity of his eternal optimism need only watch This Old Cub, the excellent and inspirational 2004 documentary that shows the rigorous routine of his daily life. Better yet, you can read about it in his own words.

Cubs baseball will never be the same again. The Pat and Ron Show has had its series finale (sadly wasted on one of the most forgettable Cubs seasons in recent history) and the team has lost its greatest booster.

But for once, at least the posthumous canonization of an athlete is well deserved. Santo’s life was an inspiration. I’m sure he would want his death to be a wakeup call for all of us: No matter what you’re going through, it can still be a wonderful life.

Thanks, Ronnie. Rest in peace.

[Originally posted to my Cubs blog, Nearly Next Year]

Spring Is Here! (Mentally, At Least)

With each passing Chicago winter, my Seasonal Affective Disorder gets a little bit stronger. This winter seemed particularly harsh, but maybe that's just because it's still so fresh in my mind. After all, it was 22 degrees last week.

But everything was made right today when we experienced the perfect weather--75 degrees with a warm and gusting wind. It simply doesn't get any better than that. Sadly, I live in a city where there are approximately five days per year that meet this criteria. Some years we only get three.

Nevertheless, days like today are one of the things that I love most about living in the Midwest. The winters are absolutely soul-crushing and can drive you to the brink of your sanity. It's dark when you get up, it's dark when you leave work and it's cold in between. Who would knowingly choose such a climate?

People often joke that harsh winters are "character-building" and I always respond that, if that's the case, I have more than enough character. But there might actually be something to that. Everyone seemed more alive today and it wasn't because they had tied one one for St. Patty's Day a wee bit early. (Read that last part with an Irish brogue for full effect.) The change in the weather was changing our very outlook on life. We made it through the bleak wilderness of winter and into the glorious sunshine. As I played catch with my brother on the lakefront this evening, winter officially ended.

But I'm from Chicago and I know that's not totally true. It very well could be cold and ugly again by the end of the week, but that's OK. The promise of spring made itself evident today and that's enough to carry me through to June.

And not a minute too soon! Tomorrow's forecast: Rainy and 40.

Everything You Know About Outer Space Is Wrong (Maybe)

When I was in college, I made a mistake. OK, so I probably made more than one, but a memorable mistake was signing up for Intro to Modern Cosmology for Non-Majors. I needed two science classes for my journalism major and my childhood astronaut aspirations made me think this course would be a potentially interesting way of filling that need.

Unfortunately, the professor seemed unaware of the "non-major" portion of the course title and by the end of the first class I could tell that I would be forced to rematch with my old foe--physics. Fortunately, the greatest TA in the world swooped in and committed himself to making me understand the material. (David Lin, wherever you are, you have my undying gratitude!) I got an A- and everybody went home happy.

Most importantly, I learned two things in that class that I still carry with me today:

1. A large portion of the universe consists of "dark energy" that cosmologists cannot see and cannot explain. It's more of a mathematical constant to account for the non-stop expansion of the universe. It's sort of the astronomical equivalent of Hitchcock's MacGuffin.

2. On the last day of class, my professor told us that everything we just spent the entire quarter studying is subject to change and might be "completely wrong," pending future discoveries, especially the bit about dark energy.

As I tooled around Chicago's Adler Planetarium this afternoon, the words "completely wrong" kept bouncing around in my head. How do we know that we're right about any of this stuff? While I do not count myself among the morons who are convinced that we never landed on the moon, I have to wonder how reliable our information is about the far reaches of the galaxy. We thought the world was flat for a long time and look how that turned out. I'm not saying that all of our knowledge of the universe is as uncertain as the dark energy theory, but it seems that a lot of it could be conjecture based on the limited technology we currently have at our disposal.

Nevertheless, the exhibits at the Adler are definitely worth your time and the Night Sky Show has the most comfortable reclining seat you'll ever nap in.

Speaking of Night Sky Shows, did you see the moon and Venus getting up close and personal with each other tonight? It looked like this. Who needs the truth about the universe? Let's just enjoy the view.


Somewhat Related Post
The New Space Race (Sponsored by Google)

Cubs Fans: Read My Cubs Blog

One of the reasons that I haven't been updating this blog quite so frequently of late is because I have been spreading myself a bit thinner in the blogosphere.

From now on, all blog posts related to the Chicago Cubs will appear on my new Cubs blog, Nearly Next Year. This is probably good news for those of you who didn't care about my Cubs posts anyway. :-)

My latest post explores which celebrities might play the roles of certain Cubs and Cardinals players if Hollywood ever decided to make a movie about the heated rivalry between the two teams. Check it out!

Where were you 10 years ago?

On this day 10 years ago, Cubs fans had a reason to cheer when young pitching phenom Kerry Wood did the seemingly impossible. By mystifying the high-powered Houston Astros for 20 strikeouts, he tied the Major League single-game strikeout record, earning a special place in the hearts of all Cubs fans as well as an annual page in Cubs trivia desk calendars.

This happened a decade ago? It sure doesn't feel like it, as I vividly remember that rainy day in May. It was such a quick game that I actually didn't see a single strike, but I remember driving home from high school and listening to the postgame show in disbelief. The Cubs continued to stun their fans that season when they went on to win the Wild Card and reached the playoffs for the first time in nine years.

This kind of stuff simply didn't happen to the Cubs back then. My favorite line in today's Tribune story about Wood's anniversary is the attendance figure from that fateful game. 15,758? That's less than half of a typical Wrigley crowd these days, and it's a telling reality that more "recent" Cubs fans probably can't wrap their minds around.

I remember attending games throughout the 1990s when the upper deck was an empty sea of green seats and unclaimed foul balls. Ten years later I find myself sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in those very seats because they are the only tickets I can afford in the only section that didn't immediately sell out.

Yes, the fortunes and popularity of the Cubs have changed significantly, but I take a certain pride in the fact that I was tuned into the team 10 years ago when it wasn't nearly so trendy. It's days like today that lifelong Cubs fans can bask in the longevity of their love affair with the Lovable Losers.

Ten years later, an older, wiser and surgically repaired Kerry Wood took the mound in the ninth inning for the Cubs tonight in his new role as a closer. Against all odds and every arm injury imaginable, Wood has largely silenced the critics and returned as a positive force in the Cubs lineup.

Perhaps Wood's up-and-down-and-up career can serve as a metaphor for the Cubs as a whole. Who doesn't love happy endings?

An Open Letter to Marty Brennaman

Dear Mr. Brennaman,

This letter is regarding your recent comments during a Cincinnati Reds radio telecast in which you asserted that Chicago Cubs fans are "the most obnoxious fans in baseball."

I cannot stand idly by while you carelessly hurl insults at me and my ilk. As a lifelong Cubs fan and a regular member of the Wrigley Field faithful, I take your comments personally and find them both offensive and illogical.

While I agree that the actions of the 15 fans who threw baseballs on the field to protest a Reds home run were regrettable, I can't believe that you would generalize the character of the entire Cubs Fan Nation on the basis of a handful of hooligans.

You said the behavior was "typical of Chicago Cubs fans." If this were typical, wouldn't Wrigley have major security problems every time 40,000 fans streamed through the gates? If memory serves, it was a different Chicago baseball club that famously and repeatedly had trouble keeping its fans in line. Throwing balls on to the field is unnecessary, but it's a far cry from the uncontrolled chaos of a Disco Demolition Night or a Ten Cent Beer Night (to cite an example from your team's home state).

It's true that Wrigley Field is routinely filled with a contingent of idiotic yuppies who gab on their cell phones while swigging their $8 beers. They get drunk, take off their shirts and pay attention to everything except the action on the field.

But these are not Cubs fans.

They might be wearing (or not wearing, depending on the inning) an Aramis Ramirez jersey, but they couldn't tell you that Ramirez was acquired in an exciting mid-season trade in 2003. They have no clue that your own son was once the play-by-play voice of the Cubs in the early 1990s. They have no history, and Cubs fans are uniquely defined by their thick-and-thin history with the team. These grown-up frat boys are sitting at Wrigley because it's the thing to do and there's a good chance that their friends might see them on TV. Every sporting event has this class of customer and the Cubs are unfortunately blessed with more than their share, thanks to the team's humunguous fanbase and national exposure. However, none of this changes the character of the true Cubs fan, who will root, root, root for the Cubbies regardless of the standings. How can you be so blindly judgmental?

Your self-righteous "apology" to true Cubs fans was immediately rendered null and void when it was followed by your assertion that Cardinals fans are "hands down the best fans in baseball." Are you consciously trying to raise the collective ire of everyone who bleeds Cubbie Blue? It's working. You've managed to momentarily take the heat off of previous Cublic Enemy Number One, Sam Zell.

I can't believe that you actually stand by the majority of the claims you made. They are ludicrous and baseless, as any random sampling of Friendly Confine fans would quickly prove. I hope you will soon come to your senses, fully apologize for the hateful aspects of your comments and stop raining on the possibilities of a postseason parade. Cubs fans aren't wishing ill fortune on the Reds. To use your words, the Reds can only "blame themselves" for that.

I must reiterate that you have taken on a formidable foe, as true Cubs fans are nothing if not indomitable. We have a 100-year history of dealing with criticism and responding to haters. You've got our attention, but you haven't gotten our goat. (And, no, real Cubs fans don't believe in that goat nonsense, either. At least we can agree on how "silly" that is.)

I'll save you a bleacher seat at the 2008 World Series at Wrigley. But if you catch a Cubs' home run ball, you better not throw it back.

Sincerely,

A Real Cubs Fan

Experimenting with Sprout

I recently came across Sprout, an online tool for making Flashy interactive presentations. I tried my hand at a photo gallery and found it both easy to use and unexpectedly broad in terms of what you can do with it. If you put in some time, you could make some snazzy presentations. Compared to learning how to use Flash itself (which I'm also in the process of doing), this was a walk in the park. The only downside I encountered was that photos had to be 1MB or less. In this day and age, that's asking a lot. I got around it by uploading the photos to Webshots first and linking to them, which worked fine, but was a bit tedious.

My finished product is below. Aside from showing the capabilities of Sprout, I hope it will serve as a gentle-yet-realistic reminder and pick-me-up to fellow Cubs fans, considering the Cubs have now started the season at 0-2.



Click here for the non-resized version.

Harry Caray Parody Past Its Prime

I'm not the first to bring this up, but I'm getting really sick of watching AT&T's lame Harry Caray commercials. They are an annoying affront to Cubs fans, comedy and Caray's memory. See for yourself:


Now imagine that this commercial is repeating every seven minutes and you'll begin to understand the agony.

The ad is off-putting in every possible way. First of all, this year marks the 10th anniversary of Harry Caray's death. This puts the ads in questionable taste as it is. Caray was a living legend in Chicago, even though the baseball team he broadcasted for consistently found itself in the gutter of the standings. (Ironically, this commercial is probably the first time that Harry's been spinning in his grave over something besides the way the Cubbies are playing...)

Secondly and more importantly, the commercials simply aren't funny. A Harry Caray impression that isn't funny may sound like an oxymoron, but somehow AT&T is up to the challenge. If you don't have the writing staff of SNL and the genius of Will Ferrell, don't even try to compete.

The man behind the Caray costume is local comedian John Campanera. In his defense, I remember when he appeared on a Cubs telecast a few years after Caray's death and delivered a spot-on impression with his own Caray-inspired material that was quite hilarious. Clearly the impression has not aged well. I hope the public outcry has been sufficient enough for them to stop this stupid ad campaign. We were much better off when Harry was doing his own commercials.

So now let's cleanse the palette with a real Harry Caray impersonation. When you watch this one, you're pretty sure Harry would be laughing along with you, and that makes all the difference.

---

UPDATE: Dutchie Caray has joined the public outcry against these abominable ads and they have been pulled off the air!

Spring Fever: Cubs' Owner Seeing Green

The Cubs have been honing their craft in Mesa, Arizona for nearly a month now, and, after winning their division last season, they're poised to have a fairly successful campaign in 2008. It's not because they're so much better than everyone else, it's just that their division is remarkably horrible.

At the same time, the Lovable Losers' lovable new owner has been making a lot of noise about selling the team for an exorbitant sum and then selling the naming rights of historic Wrigley Field for a separate and equally exorbitant sum. Pretty much everyone in the world immediately spoke out against the idea of "Wrigley Field Powered By Google" (including me), so I won't belabor the point. Quite simply, a cold and calculating business decision like this will result in a gruesome homicide at the hands of an angry Cub fan mob. It would be difficult to find an unbiased jury for a fair trial, so the mob would probably be acquitted. Plus, the Cubs would have to find a new owner all over again. But, fear not, Ebenezer Zell! These are simply the shadows of things that may be...

Rather than taking a bath in the overheated hot tub of Cub fan contempt, Zell should realize that his newest "customers" have an undying devotion to his newest "product" and are willing to pony up plenty of cash--as long as he doesn't do anything to make them stage a boycott.

A perfect example of this devotion is the hunt for the elusive Cubs Season Ticket. I currently hold (and I'm not making this up) spot number 55,779 in the online waiting list for Cubs season tickets. Wrigley Field has a capacity of about 40,000 seats and even a number-phobe like me can do the math on this one. By the time I actually acquire a season ticket, the Cubs will have won the World Series at least three more times.

Clearly sensing the demand, the team recently created a new block of season ticket seats along the third base line near the Cubs bullpen. The tickets are being auctioned off by the Chicago Board Options Exchange and there are quite a few seats up for grabs. Several of the seat packages still didn't have any bids, so I cavalierly created an account and logged into the site. Sadly, I think I'm going to have to stick with the waiting list method, as the opening bid is $25,000 for the cheapest set of tickets.

I just hope Zell sells the team to someone who has a better sense of the fact that keeping the fans happy and excited means keeping your pockets lined with fans' money. If the owner cares about the team and cares about the fans, we'll gladly pay through the nose while we root, root, root for the Cubbies. With his actions thus far, Zell has reminded Cubs fans that baseball is a business before it's a game. We don't like hearing that.

Ideally, Zell will sell both the team and the naming rights to Willy Wonka. I mean, I would gladly go see the Cubs play in Oompa Loompa Stadium. And his method of distributing new season tickets would be much more exciting.

The Four Greatest Words In the English Language

"Pitchers and catchers report."

It doesn't matter how much snow is on the ground or how cold the wind chill factor makes it feel. It doesn't matter if you're wearing boots and pushing a shovel every morning. It doesn't even matter if Phil saw his shadow.

Thursday marks the official beginning of spring. The Chicago Cubs pitchers and catchers will report to Mesa, Arizona to begin training for the 2008 baseball season, my passion will awaken from its winter slumber and my mood will improve significantly. I don't have SAD --Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have BSAD--Baseball Seasonal Affective Disorder.

This season is particularly important for the Cubbies, as another losing effort will result in a centennial of World Series futility--and intense mockery from Cubs-haters the world over. But don't worry about that because this is the year!

To celebrate the joyous return of spring and Cubs baseball, I thought I would share the worst Cubs-themed video I've ever seen in my life. The following visual atrocity is the music video for Richard Marx's 1992 hit "Take This Heart." Disclaimer: I randomly came across this video on YouTube and am in no way a fan of the music produced by Richard Marx nor am I a proponent of the nearly mullet-like haircut sported by Marx and his band. I am also not responsible for any loss of hearing or vision induced by watching this video or the insanity that could follow from having this ditty stuck in your head the rest of the day. Enjoy!



When the Cubs reach the World Series this year, I sure hope Richard Marx makes the playoff roster...

Major League Baseball (brought to you by the highest bidder)

As Chicago is experiencing a 40-degree temperature drop today, I tried to warm myself with some news about my favorite summer pastime. Unfortunately, these five items just left me feeling even colder.

1. Welcome to Wal-Mart Field, Home of the Chicago Cubs
I know this is old news, but I have to address it. I don't care how much blood money Sam Zell could acquire by selling the Wrigley Field naming rights, that is something you don't even think about considering. Doesn't he understand the level of passion inherent in Cubs fan nation? He is lighting a match next to a powder keg by merely hinting at such an atrocity. When the Tribune Company owned the Cubs, they began the slippery slope of forsaking history for profitability by installing Under Armour ads in the outfield, adding more seats, creating a center field stadium club and whipping up various other ploys to squeeze a few more cents out of the Friendly Confines. But renaming the place? Even if all the original Wrigley trappings went unchanged--the manual scoreboard, the ivy walls, the familiar red and white marquee--it would still be morally wrong for the Cubs to cross the foul lines in a place that's no longer called Wrigley Field. (Plus, I can't imagine that a company would buy the stadium without plastering its wretched logo all over the field.) Don't bait us, Mr. Zell. The fans are your meal ticket. So why do I feel so powerless right now?


2. The Wrigleyville Hyatt Hotel
As long as we're renaming Wrigley Field, we might as well completely commercialize Wrigleyville as well. Bring on the Wrigleyville Hyatt Hotel and Apartment Complex! If there's one thing Wrigleyville needs, it's more congestion and commercialization. With the way Wrigleyville residents have put the kibosh on most expansionist plans proposed by the Cubs, I'm hoping this hotel idea will be met with similar disdain. A few years ago there were plans to build a parking garage and a Chicago Cubs museum across the street from Wrigley. Whatever happened to those blueprints?

3. Your Ad Here
The Boston Red Sox--who seem intent on becoming the slightly poorer man's version of the New York Yankees--will be wearing advertisements on their uniforms when they open the 2008 season in Tokyo. Apparently this is common practice in Japan, but against the rules in the MLB. I was going to make a really witty joke about what will happen when the Cubs discover this potential revenue stream, but apparently they already did this back in 2000. Maybe Zell will start peddling the Cubs to Japanese financiers and move them to a league where they can sell their jersey sleeves to corporations. Though, the absence of the Cubs would probably make the hotel entrepreneur pull out of Wrigleyville, so there could be a silver lining here.

4. Barry Bonds and the Quest for the Dropped Perjury Charges
Bonds' lawyers say that the charges in the indictment detailing his alleged perjury during the BALCO probe are so vague that Bonds can't figure out which lies he should lie about not having told. The only way this situation could get any worse is if his lawyers resorted to using lame baseball analogies. Oh, wait.

The motion asks U.S. District Judge Susan Illston to consider the argument Feb. 29, urging her to either toss out the case or order prosecutors to rewrite the indictment to clarify the charges.

"Even Barry Bonds cannot be expected to make contact with a fastball, slider and knuckler thrown to him simultaneously," Bonds' attorneys wrote.

Guilty as charged.

5. The Roger Clemens Report
I've got to be honest: Roger Clemens has always kind of annoyed me. He was one of those pitchers who was so good for so long that he appeared superhuman and he was a sure thing for whichever team he played for. He came out of several retirements to annihilate the Cubs with the Houston Astros and his buddy Andy Pettite, which I found very annoying. Even his Sega Genesis baseball video game was annoying to play, as baseball video games go.

What I'm trying to say is that the steroid allegations don't surprise me and his incredible career stats make it difficult for me to believe that he wasn't injecting himself with something. Now we'll have to endure months of he said/she said. Since a 60 Minutes interview wasn't enough to clear his name, the Clemens party has now released the Clemens Report, which presents their version of why his career statistics are so superhumanly excellent. It turns out that Clemens is just the latest in a long line of mutants who have pitched with great success well past the ripe old baseball age of 40. Go pick on Nolan Ryan and leave the Rocket in peace.

Remember when baseball was just a game? Me neither. But I'll bet it was nice.

I should have been a programmer...

How cool is Adrian Holovaty? This guy never seems to run out of ideas. Lucky for him (and us), Holovaty has been blessed with the endless curiosity of a journalist and the technical know-how of a programmer. He already made a name for himself with his Chicago Crime Google Maps mash-up (which plots recent crimes reported by the Chicago Police Department on a Google Map and sorts them by type, date, street, etc.), and his latest project is potentially even cooler.

EveryBlock is a site devoted to telling you more about your neighborhood than you ever knew you wanted to know. Currently unleashed on Chicago, San Francisco and New York City, the site aggregates location-specific (er, city block-specific) data, news and online activity from a variety of disparate sources and organizes it all by neighborhood.

As a journalist, a new media enthusiast and a Chicagoan, I am slightly in awe of this. With the proliferation of innovative online methods for sharing news, opinions and information, EveryBlock wants to serve as both a compass and an EKG machine: Point it toward a neighborhood and it delivers the pulse through a combination of news, data and the latest geo-tagged Flickr photos. What a phenomenal idea!

In his introductory statements about EveryBlock, Holovaty offers a new definition of "news" that is potentially shocking to old school newspapermen, but perhaps quite prescient given the shifts that are occurring in the media industry today.

We like to toss around the word "news" to describe all of this, and that might surprise you at first. Isn't news what appears on the front page of the New York Times? Isn't news something produced by professional journalists?

Well, it can be -- and we include as much of that on EveryBlock as possible. But, in our minds, "news" at the neighborhood or block level means a lot more. On EveryBlock, "Somebody reviewed the new Italian restaurant down the street on Yelp" is news. "Somebody took a photo of that cool house on your block and posted it to Flickr" is news. "The NYPD posted its weekly crime report for your neighborhood" is news. If it's in your neighborhood and it happened recently, it's news on EveryBlock.

At the very least, Holovaty's latest innovation gives whole new meaning to the phrase "citizen journalism" and this could be the start of something big. Stay tuned.

And as long as we're on the subject of programmer-journalists, I definitely should have studied the technology first and then learned how to report. It would have been so much cheaper that way...

Chicago Tribune Redesigned! (Hello? Is this thing on?)

Raise your hand if you read a printed copy of the Chicago Tribune this morning? Anyone? No? OK, well, I did, so let me be the first to tell you: The print version of the Chicago Tribune has been redesigned!

What? You get all your news online? Oh. Well, then maybe you will respond better to a visual representation of the redesign:

Aside from making the newspaper page thinner (as in, not so wide), the most striking difference in the redesign is the lack of the familiar Chicago Tribune blue in the masthead. I always liked that color blue and I assumed it was always in the masthead, so I choked on my breakfast when I first saw this. Then I turned to page two and saw the above graphic. Apparently the blue masthead has only been around as long as I have, so it's not like they're undoing a century-long tradition or something. Just a quarter century. I can live with that. Besides, the new masthead doesn't look that bad and if this prolongs the life of the printed newspaper page by even one day, I'm all for it. (Stop laughing at me.)

It's telling that there are very few blogs or articles talking about the Trib's redesign, as this would have been much bigger news back in the pre-blogosphere days and probably would have started a widespread chain of reader angst. As it is now, the Trib will probably just have to deal with a few angry elderly readers, whose appalled letters will be printed in the paper's letters section, where other elderly readers will read them. Meanwhile, life goes on uninterrupted online. What did they do? Less blue, you say? Yawn.

I think this guy sums it up pretty well. A redesign is just the Trib's way of possibly saving a few bucks, while failing to address bigger problems of how to best use the Web to increase audience share, increase revenue and increase the quality of reporting. These are pressing questions that go well beyond the beauty of a new font or the color on Page One. The old joke has been rewritten: What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper that's losing money.

Mapping my way to fun on Black Friday

As usual, the majority of the U.S. fought their Turkey Day Tryptophan hangover today by heading to their local department store for some frenzied Black Friday fun. Actually, it seems like the fun is starting earlier every year and, as I drove home last night, I saw no less than six tents set up outside of the entrance to Best Buy. It was only 7:30 p.m. and it was only 29 degrees outside. I just hope there was a sale on sanity, because there were clearly some potential buyers.

In the interests of full disclosure, my brother and I did try the Black Friday thing last year. Staples was having a terrific sale on (nerd alert!) external hard drives and flash drives and the ad proved too tempting. An office store is one place that I legitimately enjoy shopping, even when they're not throwing discounts at me. Pens! Notebooks! Gadgets! So many office supplies I don't need, but still desire!

With visions of flash drives dancing in our heads, we woke up at some ungodly hour and arrived at the store in a daze around 5 a.m. A line stretching to the middle of the store had somehow already formed, and we discovered that there were actually only 12 discounted external hard drives and flash drives in the entire store. We were apparently in line to get a ticket that wouldn't even guarantee that the item would be ours. Quickly weighing the costs and benefits, we soon fled the store. I was asleep again by 7, but Black Friday had left a bitter taste in my mouth.

That's why today was different. Rebuking the rebates, I went to the Field Museum to see their newest exhibit--Maps: Finding Our Place in the World. You have to pay extra for this one, but it's definitely worth the price of admission. The exhibit traces the use of maps throughout history and displays more maps than you ever thought you would see in one place. I know this might sound like a recipe for a nap (especially if you eat leftovers before you go), but it's absolutely fascinating to see actual maps from the Holy Roman Empire, Leonardo da Vinci, Ptolemy, the Civil War and other countries/eras/events/people that you've previously only read about in History class.

Two cool highlights:

1. An electronic map that displays the history of the Civil War in four minutes. I had previously seen this at the Abe Lincoln museum in Springfield and it's an awesome way to present history. Major battles, a casualty count and the changing Union/Confederate borders are overlaid on a map of the U.S. You can see the Confederacy making a stand when their territory increased at some points during the war, while the casualty counter rises alarmingly.

2. A hand-drawn map of London during the late-19th century cholera outbreak. John Snow hypothesized that the outbreak was due to contaminated water and not airborne, as most people thought. To test this theory, he charted the geographic location of cholera-related deaths on a map of the city's water pump system. He pinpointed one pump that was particularly close to an area with many victims and conducted interviews that showed the victims received water from this pump. It wasn't until decades later that the medical community substantiated his theory with scientific research. Hooray for maps, Sherlock!

It's a sprawling exhibit and I was only there for a little more than an hour, but you can easily spend more time on it. The best part is that I feel like I actually learned something and had a good time doing it. I don't think the tent-dwelling Best Buy customers can say that, even if they did get a good deal on their Wii.

If you're not in Chicago, be sure to check out the exhibit's nifty Web site that I've linked to frequently above. It'll give you a taste of what I'm talking about.

Anatomy of a Collapse

What a difference a week makes.

This time last week I was basking in the glow of postseason paradise. I was rearranging my schedule around the National League Division Series telecasts. I was decorating my car with Cubs decals, a Cubs steering wheel cover and even a pair of Cubs fuzzy dice. (Editor's note: The Cubs being in the playoffs is the only event that would ever compel me to hang fuzzy dice from my rear-view mirror.) Basically, I was living in the sure and certain hope that the Cubs would roll over the Triple-A Minor League Arizona Diamondbacks and at least fight their way to the pennant, if not the World Series. Things didn't turn out that way. In fact, the Cubs played like the Flubs (as my Grandpa used to call them) and I was at Wrigley Field to watch the team trudge through NLDS Game 3, ending the season with a glorious whimper and a horde of dejected fans. Here's my report from the field.

The Alpha and the Omega
Since I was at Wrigley for the home opener in April, I attended both the first and the last home games of the 2007 Cubs season. In April, I wore a hat, coat and gloves and froze through a Cubs loss to the Houston Astros. In October, I wore shorts and a t-shirt and spent the first four innings sweating in the sun. I can't begin to explain Chicago weather, but it felt like a Saturday in July this past weekend. Too bad it wasn't--the Cubs were actually winning in July.

Standing Room Only
This was my first "Standing Room Only" experience at any ticketed event and it's a bit unnerving. When you have a ticket for a seat--no matter how bad the seat may be--you have a claim to a designated area in the park. As long as you have the ticket, you can sit in that seat and have the usher remove anyone who claims otherwise. With SRO tickets, you lay claim to whatever amount of pavement you can straddle and that's it. If you cede an inch to the drunk guy standing next to you, that's an inch you can't get back. If you leave your place to go buy peanuts, you better have a friend (widely) standing guard. The most annoying aspect of this is seeing non-Cubs fans who were able to obtain legitimate ticketed seats to the game. I understand you would like to be witness to history, but why are you taking seats out of the hands of long-suffering and well-deserving Cubs fans? Go home and watch the game on your HD TV, Indians fan. Your team isn't even in the same league.

The Ecstasy and the Agony
For those who have never experienced a home Cubs game, let me tell you that the vibe at Wrigley Field is always electric. Cubs fans are the greatest fans in the world because they actually pay attention to the game and vocally rise to the occasion at all the right moments, without the aid of a "Make Some Noise" announcement on a Jumbo-tron (cough**Arizona**cough). The energy was never higher than it was in the fifth inning on Saturday, when the Cubbies had the bases juiced and one of their best hitters at the plate. Down by only two runs at this point, it seemed like the makings of a turning point. The frenzy reached a fever pitch as the count went to 3-2, but Mark DeRosa weakly connected with the ball and dribbled yet another ground ball to the shortstop for an inning-ending double play. I've never experienced such a collective roar of agony and it was all downhill from there. The Cubs had the support of 40,000+ screaming fans willing them to string together some hits, but it still wasn't enough. Baseball is an odd sport fueled by a combination of brute strength, skill and timing and downright luck. The Cubs exhibited little of any of those characteristics. The Diamondbacks were not a better team on paper, but they played better on the field and that's all that matters.

What the L?
The blue and white "W" flag that is raised above Wrigley after each Cubs win has received a lot of exposure this year, as vendors have been selling home versions of the flag to fans. Until Saturday's loss, I never knew that there is a black (or navy blue) and white "L" flag that is hoisted in defeat. This seems like a lousy tradition for a team with the Cubs' track record. Can't the absence of a "W" flag tell the sour truth just as well? I wonder if they sell "L" flags. Probably not a very hot item.

Never Leave Early
Despite the ultimate outcome of the game, real Cubs fans know that you should never leave a Cubs game before the last out is recorded. While crazy things happen to hinder the Cubs chances of winning, even crazier things can happen and lead to late-inning comebacks. I've seen it dozens of times. Watching a steady stream of people march down the ramp from their playoff-price-increased upper deck seats in the top of the 8th inning was a bit disheartening. Fortunately, all the drunk people around me were loudly and obscenely questioning the Cubs fanhood of these "beat the rush" types.

Wrigley Cathedral?
The great W.P. Kinsella once wrote that "A ballpark at night is more like a church than a church." Walking around Wrigley after the game and snapping dozens of photos of the field, I'm inclined to agree. Regardless of the final outcome on the historic manual scoreboard, it's a heckuva place to catch a ballgame.

The Magic Number is 100
With the 2007 season in the can, it's time for Cubs fans the world over to play the waiting game again. Next year will mark the 100th anniversary of the Cubs' most recent World Series Championship. We'll see if "It's Gonna Happen" next year or if the wait will continue and White Sox fans will have new insults to hurl. The hardest part about all of this for me is that my one true passion now goes into hibernation for six months. I guess that's good news for any readers of this blog who don't care about baseball.

But I kind of wonder what I'm going to write about now...

Now Boarding: Cubs Bandwagon

Since my last post, the Cubbies became the Central Division champions, I bought my 20th Cubs hat and the Arizona Diamondbacks await us on Wednesday. With the Cubs in the playoffs for only the 15th time in history, you can bet that the Cubs bandwagon is getting a little crowded.

I was still an undergrad the last time this happened, and I vividly remember the sudden influx in Cubs memorabilia and clothing that started appearing all over campus. It should come as no surprise to anyone that this gets on my nerves to no end. I don't mind if you want to join the celebration or if you're curious about the outcome of the Cubs' playoff run. But don't pretend that you're a Cubs fan. You're not. You're just a lemming who bought a hat.

Achieving the rank of Cubs fan is nearly impossible when the Cubs are doing well. I won't believe that it's for real until you've been a Cubs fan during a prolonged dry spell. My dry spell was the 1990s. I attended many home losses at Wrigley. I collected baseball cards of mediocre players like Rey Sanchez and the unfortunately named Paul Assenmacher. I scoured team statistics in the sports section each day. And I generally followed the team with the same voracity that I did during the years when they actually succeeded. This is the commitment that is required of every Cubs fan--to remain true to the team during a troubling last-place season in 2006, so that you may revel in the glory of a pennant race in 2007. It's the same team, no matter what the standings say.

If you really are committed to becoming a true Cubs fan, you need to start your Cubs education immediately. Although unconditional love for the Cubs could be considered unintelligent by outsiders, Cubs fans are actually among the smartest in baseball. We know the history of our team, we have a very long memory and we're eager to share our knowledge with you. The Chicago Tribune ran a fun piece on the 99 Things Every Real Cubs Fan Should Know. I pride myself on the fact that I already knew the answer to the majority of these well-researched questions. Even if you're not a Cubs fan, you should read it for a taste of the colorful and bizarre history this team has endured over the years. Maybe it will help you understand why there is such devotion from the team's real fans. Being a Cubs fan is a way of life and a full-time job. Start studying or take off the Cubs hat.

P.S. Along with the majority of Cubs Fan Nation, my prediction is that the Cubbies will take the National League Pennant in four games against the D-Backs. I'd prefer that they do it in three games, since I'll be at Game 3, but let's not get greedy.

P.P.S. Check out the 2007 remix of "Go Cubs Go." I'm a sucker for any Cub-related novelty song. Even a remix.

The Way It's Going To Be

I know how this is going to end. There's only one way it can.

Sure, the sunny Cubs optimist in me wants the Northsiders to clinch the division tomorrow. Despite being swept by the Marlins in a truly embarrassing effort this week, the Cubbies are in a position to do just that. The Magic Number has been reduced to two, so a Cubs win and a Brewers loss tomorrow would mean that it's time for me to go out and buy a new Central Division Champs t-shirt. It would also give meaning to my standing-room-only tickets for Game 3 of the NLDS. (Thanks for the tix, Andrew! I'll name my first-born son after you! Or after Alfonso Soriano...it depends on his postseason batting average.)

But I don't think that's how it's going to end. My inner sunny Cubs optimist is tempered by a hardened 99-freaking-years-since-a-championship realist, who has other ideas about the way the Cubs will win this. The dialogue in my head goes something like this:

Optimist: "The Cubs are going all the way this year!"
Realist: "Yeah, but they just lost three in a row to one of the worst teams in baseball."
Optimist: "I don't care! I know this is The Year!"
Realist: "Bartman!"
Optimist: "Oh.....yeah."

So here's my theory in all it's optimistic-realistic glory:

The Cubs have a history of losing. That's a well-documented fact. So how will they make the playoffs in 2007--the year when they are destined to finally reclaim the World Championship? They'll make the playoffs the only way they know how--by losing. That's right. They are going to lose every game for the rest of the regular season, but the Brewers will also lose two games, thus making the Cubs the reigning champs of the Central Division. The Lovable Losers will win by losing.

They will then waltz through the playoffs in dramatic fashion and wipe clean the slate on a near-century of failure, just in the nick of time. I can't wait!

The Hunt for Red (and Blue) October

No matter how horrendous a season the Cubs might be having, their season always seems to play out like a Hollywood script. There are the perennial villains--the Cardinals, the Brewers, and sometimes the Astros. There are the internal conflicts--injuries to superstar players, slap fights in the dugout, a corked bat, mid-season trades, slumping players, and quibbles over playing time. There are the unscripted ad libs--unbelievable catches, walk-off home runs, bench-clearing brawls, the Miracle Mets, Steve Bartman and a limitless number of other extenuating circumstances that affected North Side fortunes over the years. All of these factors coalesce into a wacky yet irresistible plotline that seems to get more outrageous each season. Fortunately, this year's plot has a middling Cubs team inexplicably at the top of the Central division, two and a half games above the Brewers with just seven games to play.

The Magic Number is 6, folks!

I hope you grasp the enormity of this. By this point in the season, The Magic Number is usually 15, as in February 15, when pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training to give it another try in 2008. I'm usually watching the last Cubs game because I know I won't get a whiff of Cubs baseball until April. But something different is happening this year. Against all odds, the gates to the playoffs have been left unlocked, the security guard is fast asleep and the Cubbies are sauntering through.

Admittedly, nothing is set in stone yet and Cubs fans can't celebrate until mathematics tell us to. But that's why Cubs baseball is the most exciting spectacle on Earth. At this point, I'm just enjoying the ride. But I'm also fully confident that I will be picking up a Cubs Central Division Champs t-shirt and hat by this time next week. 99 years is a long wait, but I really think this is The Year.

Fighting Crime at 12.5 Miles Per Hour

The Segway has finally come through for the Chicago Police Department.

The curious (and futuristic!) sight of Chicago police officers rolling around on Segways is surely familiar to anyone who has ventured near Millennium Park over the past few summers. At least one criminal was unaware of these electric-powered crime fighters, however, and he paid the price. Moments after someone was shot in the butt (seriously, you can't make up stories like this), Sergeant Segway sprang into action, chasing the suspected gunman down 21st Street and making the arrest after the suspect--a mere human running on legs--was outrun by the machine.

As Police Commander Kevin Ryan so aptly pointed out, "These don't wear down--people do." And let's not overlook the Segway's ability to act as a deterrent to crime. You're much more likely to notice the police presence when they are stoically rolling by on a pair of giant wheels. At the very least, you would think twice before shooting anyone in the butt.

When I first heard about the Segway Personal Transporter several years ago, my inner five-year-old boy jumped for joy. Finally! An alternative to old-fashioned walking! Surely flying cars and hovercrafts will be the next innovations to float down the assembly line! Unfortunately, the Segway has been around for about six years now and very little has changed. Sure, I can tour the Capital on a Segway, but if I want to walk down the block, I still have to put one foot in front of the other. What a letdown.

The price tag is even worse. After poking around on the build-your-own Segway site, the cheapest model I could order was $5,145, which is too much to pay for the cheap thrills of flying down the sidewalk at 12.5 miles per hour. And that price doesn't include any of the flashy Segway trimmings. If you truly want to pimp your glide, you can add a police light and siren, comfort mats and a LED taillight (batteries included!) for late night scootin'. But those amenities will cost you another $600. Why not save the money and just put a baseball card in the spokes?

Wake me when we're the Jetsons.

As usual, this is The Year.

It's always like this when the Cubs are in contention late in the season. And when I say always, what I really mean is "the two other times I've experienced it." I start to eat, sleep and breath Cubs baseball (Technically, I don't know how you "sleep" Cubs baseball, but I'll find a way). Each day, I devour the Chicago Tribune sports section and read every word pertaining to the Cubs. If the game is on cable, I have to be near a radio. If the game is televised on WGN, I clear my schedule to watch. Conversations frequently consist of rehashing last night's game, complaining about players who are not performing well and dreaming about the road less traveled by that leads to a World Series championship.

Having a steady paycheck only fans the flames of my obsession. I've already bought tickets to two stretch-run games, including a very important rescheduled bout with the Cardinals, and I'm already budgeting for my "Playoff Tickets Fund" that will hopefully be my gateway to October baseball live at Wrigley.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. The Cubbies still have to survive a month of regular season baseball and that is no short order. If I had to sum up the 2007 Chicago Cubs in one word, that word would be "inconsistent." If I had two words, I would use a hyphen and call them "mind-bogglingly inconsistent." On any given day, one of two Cubs teams might take the field.

On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, the team with the dominant starting pitching, explosively rallying offense and decently effective bullpen will show up. You'll see Ryan Theriot stretch a long single into a double. You'll see a Derrek Lee home run. You'll see Ryan Dempster save a game without raising the collective blood pressure of the Cubs faithful. The entire team runs like a well-oiled machine and they appear nearly unbeatable.

Unfortunately, the Cubs' understudies play on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They wear the same numbers and the same pinstripes, but the intensity is gone. The starting pitchers throw batting practice and the once-proud Cubs hitters can't get the ball out of the infield. There is a listless feel to the so-called action on the field and I'm taken back to the endless seasons of the early '90s, when the highlight of the game was Harry Caray's signature stretch. If they don't win, it's a shame? There was a lot of shame to go around back then.

But the '90s are over. Inconsistencies aside, the Cubs can make the playoffs this year if they really want to. No other teams are stepping up to run away with the Central Division and good fortune appears to reside at Clark and Addison this season. Even when the team has had setbacks, they've still somehow remained afloat. Now they need to take what's being handed to them and not stop until their ring fingers are a bit heavier.

The great George Will once wrote that Cubs fans are 90 percent scar tissue. I believe the percentage has gone up microscopically every season, as we endure the annual exercise of the Boys in Blue squandering another opportunity to end the near century-long World Series drought. Time is running out.

I am a Cubs fan, so I know that this is The Year. There's no doubt! But I am a Cubs fan, so I already know that next year will be, too.

Play it again, Steve. Go Cubs!